Lisa
received this question for her son, who has autism. His name is Philip.
Hi Philip,
My sister,
who has a son with autism, just told me about your page. I’m a big admirer of
what you’re doing.
I am trying
to learn everything I can about what life is like for my nephew so I can
interact with him better. As I’m only just discovering your page, I’m not sure
if you’ve covered this topic before: Why is it so difficult to make eye contact
with people? For me, it was always hard to communicate with my nephew because I
used to think he wasn’t paying attention since he was looking away or stimming,
which made it seem like it was impossible for him to hear what I was saying. I
know better now but would love to find out more about what it’s like. Thank you
for opening up your world to us – you are an inspiration!
I had
Philip write back. He said:
I am
letting you know about eye contact. My eyes see very well. Most people seem to
need to have to look long and hard to make sense of a picture. I can take in a
whole picture at a glance. Each day I see too many little petty details. I look
away to not get overwhelmed by a lot of little bits of information. I watch
things that a teacher or person I listen to tells me to watch. This helps me
concentrate on what I should be focusing on. I can search for a teacher’s voice
to try to focus on. I am academically learning best when I sit side-by-side
with a teacher. A seat on the side keeps me focused on your voice and not on
visual distractions. I am assessing many sounds too. I have to erase some
stimuli to access my answers to people’s questions and meet their demands. That
is why I don’t make eye contact. I am always listening. I listen a lot to
voices. I so love when people talk to me and are not talking like I am not
there. I am active because I am unable to feel my body well. People think I am
being rude but I can’t help it. I need to move to feel my body, but sitting
down at least helps me not walk away from you. Please peacefully talk to your
nephew. Let him know you understand. I am sad when people think I don’t like
them. I love people.
Love,
Philip
Source: The Mighty.
Link: http://themighty.com/2015/01/someone-asked-my-son-with-autism-why-eye-contact-is-hard-this-was-his-answer/
